What we have done here at Unity Center of Norwalk is very impressive. In a lot of ways, but in particular, that so many of us are connected both on Sundays and throughout the week.
Not everyone is as willing to have these connections as they think they are. A while back I called someone I hadn’t seen in some time and I asked her what was up. She told me she felt left out even though she had tried everything to be included. I brought that up to the Board members we had at that time. One of them said, “She never asked me to coffee, I would have loved to have spent time with her.”
I thought back to when I first started at Unity in New York as well as other healing communities. I intuitively knew that I would never make lasting acquaintances, let alone friends by being passive. I was clear that it was important for me to turn to both my left and to my right and introduce myself. Next I looked for the people I thought would be fun and I approached them about coffee or lunch. What was the worst that could happen? They could reject me or they could say “Yes, please join us.” What’s likely to happen if I stand by passively waiting for an invitation is that I won’t receive one.
Many years ago at another Unity Church, a fellow decided that he would stand at the side aisle and wait for someone to say “Hello”. He had decided that if no one did he would leave the church. No one did and he left the church. He sacrificed his church out of pride.
We are a proactive community where we ask for what we want and if we get a “no” here in this moment, we understand that it doesn’t mean that we can’t have it. It just means that this is either not the person to give it to me or it’s not the time for me to have it.
So many have found each other here. They have discovered what they have in common and what they’d like to learn from each other. They take joy in one another’s company. There have been a few false starts in relationships here at Unity and that is usually when someone is trying to get more than they want to give. They want validation and approval and all sorts of things that no one can give. We can’t approve or validate anyone. We can proactively find approval within ourselves. Not through arrogant affirmations but through first connecting with Love within. Once that connection is consciously made, then authenticity begins and then we become interesting individuals. It is in our authenticity that long lasting relationships happen. As long as we are telling ourselves we are less than the love that God Is we can’t be authentic.
I encourage all of us to continually be proactive in KNOWING ourselves as our God-selves. It’s really nice when we no longer have anything to actually worry about.